When a Stranger Knocks

Living in an apartment building there are some basic rules you need to follow.

  1. Don’t play your music too loudly*
  2. Set a shower schedule with your roommates (to avoid waiting to take a shower)
  3. Pay rent on time!
  4. If you are planning to have loud sex at least make a batch of brownies for your roommates to enjoy.
  5. Do not let strangers in.

*Unless the music is exceptionally cool like Journey.

Let’s cover rule number 5. A few weeks ago, my parents came to visit me at my new place. By “visit”, I mean drop off a bunch more of my crap I stored at their house. My mom cleaned my apartment; my dad, brother and I carried heavy boxes up my four flights of stairs. I am now committed to my apartment until at least right after the holiday season because all my holiday decorations were shoved into a tiny closet.

Soon after the move, my parents drove away and I headed back into my apartment building. In order to get into the building either you take the fire escape to your kitchen door or you type a code to go into the main doors.

Walking up to the main door, I noticed a lost looking hipster fella standing before the pass code door. He was frantically calling and texting people, whom I assume are friends that live in the building. I softly say “Aw, do you need to get into the building?” He nervously laughed and said “Yes. I cannot get a hold of my friend. She lives right there.” He pointed to the first apartment door through the glass door. I calmly said, “Well, it’s not really smart to let a stranger into the building, so I will have to ask you some questions.” He nodded.

Jayne: “Are you a murderer?”

Hipster: “No.”

Jayne: “Are you a rapist?”

Hipster: “No.”

Jayne: “Do you like to wear women’s skin?”

Hipster: “Haha! No, but I appreciate the reference.”

Jayne: “Well, I had to make sure. I’m the right body type for that kind of thing, so I just want to be safe.”

Image

I then let the fella in. See. All it took was a few simple questions before letting a stranger in to make sure I wasn’t letting in the next dorm room murderer.

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