When a Stranger Knocks

Living in an apartment building there are some basic rules you need to follow.

  1. Don’t play your music too loudly*
  2. Set a shower schedule with your roommates (to avoid waiting to take a shower)
  3. Pay rent on time!
  4. If you are planning to have loud sex at least make a batch of brownies for your roommates to enjoy.
  5. Do not let strangers in.

*Unless the music is exceptionally cool like Journey.

Let’s cover rule number 5. A few weeks ago, my parents came to visit me at my new place. By “visit”, I mean drop off a bunch more of my crap I stored at their house. My mom cleaned my apartment; my dad, brother and I carried heavy boxes up my four flights of stairs. I am now committed to my apartment until at least right after the holiday season because all my holiday decorations were shoved into a tiny closet.

Soon after the move, my parents drove away and I headed back into my apartment building. In order to get into the building either you take the fire escape to your kitchen door or you type a code to go into the main doors.

Walking up to the main door, I noticed a lost looking hipster fella standing before the pass code door. He was frantically calling and texting people, whom I assume are friends that live in the building. I softly say “Aw, do you need to get into the building?” He nervously laughed and said “Yes. I cannot get a hold of my friend. She lives right there.” He pointed to the first apartment door through the glass door. I calmly said, “Well, it’s not really smart to let a stranger into the building, so I will have to ask you some questions.” He nodded.

Jayne: “Are you a murderer?”

Hipster: “No.”

Jayne: “Are you a rapist?”

Hipster: “No.”

Jayne: “Do you like to wear women’s skin?”

Hipster: “Haha! No, but I appreciate the reference.”

Jayne: “Well, I had to make sure. I’m the right body type for that kind of thing, so I just want to be safe.”

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I then let the fella in. See. All it took was a few simple questions before letting a stranger in to make sure I wasn’t letting in the next dorm room murderer.

Immortal Beloved and an 8-year-old’s dreams of marrying Gary Oldman

Do you enjoy listening to classical music? When you see Gary Oldman do you let out a long sigh? Do romantic Victorian fashions make your toes curl? When you see a tragically romantic movie, do you weep? If you answered “Yes!” to any of these questions then why haven’t you seen Immortal Beloved yet?

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The VHS cover that I would stare at longingly for hours

When Immortal Beloved came out in 1994, I was merely a child; it was not a typical movie an 8-year-old should be exposed to. My mother was not a supporter of censorship, so I was exposed to many movies that would be life changing for me, although they had very adult-like themes. Looking back, I strongly believe she made the right decision. In the third grade, I went to the movie theater with my mom, aunt, grandma, and siblings. The movie was Schindler’s List. The movie had a very strong theme of hate, but looking back on what my child self remembered: a girl in a red coat. That is all I could tell you about the movie. A child’s mind will remember what is wants to, or has the capacity to. My mind remembered the one bit of color from the entire movie, not the nudity or genocide.

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I became obsessed with this image for years. I still long for a red coat like the little girl’s.

I digress. Back to Immortal Beloved. My mother considered this the “best date movie.” Why? I would ask myself. It wouldn’t be until I became an adult did I realize how sexy the movie is. Immortal Beloved tells the story of Ludwig Van Beethoven and his immortal beloved, the person he would will his entire legacy to. The movie tells of Beethoven’s childhood, how he became deaf, his many lovers, and how he changed the “music scene” as youngsters like to say nowadays. After watching the movie, I would go out to my mother’s flowerbed and sit on the bench. I would daydream of being whisked away by a brilliant, slightly depressive man. When I watch this movie as an adult, I become completely depressed with emotion. I cry, I worry, I wonder why my life can’t be as tragic as Beethoven.

The movie is incredibly beautiful, tragic and romantic. I weep every time I watch it, making me wish I were born in a time period when women would experience pleasure like no other when listening to a composer’s orchestra play powerful music. I strongly believe Beethoven was the greatest composer of all time, and I have Gary Oldman to thank for that sentiment. Gary Oldman is a fox in Immortal Beloved.

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Oh, Beethoven, you sly dog.

Have you seen Immortal Beloved? If yes, then let’s talk! I don’t know too many people who have seen this film.

If you haven’t seen it, then I strongly recommend you rent this movie today. You won’t regret it!

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Isabella Rossellini also stars in this movie. Need I say more?